can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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