please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
whose parrot is this?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
