what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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