I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
