i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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