I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
