We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
