My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
