I want to make a zoo with you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
