yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
