But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
