Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
