At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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