just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
