We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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