we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
