I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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