I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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