dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
