Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
