wat bout pragnant strippers??
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
