She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
