the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
