Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
