if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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