Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
