I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
