It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I will be naked everywhere
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
