Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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