I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
