drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
