Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
