No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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