She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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