life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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