ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
