idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
