It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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