I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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