there was a trapeze. enough said
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
