I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
