You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
