How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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