you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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