Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
