I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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