I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
