drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
