I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
