Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
