this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
